I should also say that I do recognize, vis-a-vis my last post, that I'm very, very lucky to even be in this position. I know that. I do. But that perspective isn't helping me with the decision on whether or not to move forward.

Crossroads

I have said before, I think, that I love my job. I work as an attorney managing litigation for a small company. I've been there 2.5 years, and I can honestly say it's the best job I've ever had. I find the work itself very interesting, 80-90% of the time, and with one or two exceptions, I like the people too. The money is decent, respectable, but not great. The flexibility is awesome - we have a 4.5 day workweek. I leave the office by 1:00-1:30 every Friday. Benefits are standard -neither a negative nor a positive.

I got a call on Friday from a recuiter, looking to fill a position similar to mine at a much bigger company. The difference in pay could be significant - maybe even life changing. It is definitely a more demanding job. I feel like...most of me loves what I have and doesn't want to lose it. I think I would really be sad to leave - I love it that much. An equally large part of me thinks that to have a job that would erase our debt and allow us to save the way we should be would make me happier in the long term. Even if I didn't like the job as much. And frankly I think that's almost certainly a given.

Note that this job hasn't been offered to me yet. But I think I'm pretty qualified for it, and while I have MANY deficiencies, interviewing is a strength. So while it's not a foregone conclusion that I WILL get offered this job, I think there's a good possibility of it.

And if that happens I will not know what the right decision is.

They're Coming

The in-laws are coming into town today!

Behind the Veil

So, one thing I'm kind of struggling with is whether to tell anyone in my real life that I have this blog they could read. Not that there's much content here yet, but maybe someday there will be. On the one hand, I could see where it would be nice to have people I know but don't always talk to in depth on a regular basis, read these posts and...I don't know, continue the conversation in some way. On the other hand, maybe it's better to just keep it for me, so that I can say whatever I want about them. That sounds bad - it's not that I'm dying to talk behind their back, but...there may be things I can say in a more free way if I knew that they WEREN'T going to be reading it. For example, I wouldn't tell Dave about how pissed off I was at what a crappy job he did cleaning the kitchen if we were just talking, and I have a post about it here.

Similarly, maybe I would be able to say things here about me that I wouldn't say if I knew the real life peeps were reading. (Wow - that sounds mysterious - doncha want to know the SECRETS I KEEP!!!).

I also think there are certain members of my family who would think it's weird to even have a blog, and others who might just think it's pretentious in some way.

I guess I'm inclined to keep it for me, but I could be persuaded otherwise.

TV

So let's talk TV. I love it. I watch, religiously, Lost, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Mad Men, and 30 Rock. When it was on I never missed Battlestar Galactica either, and still miss it. I sometimes watch The Biggest Loser, Survivor, and The Amazing Race, but I have to get hooked early into the season, and if it never clicks I bail. This year I'm watching Biggest Loser, but not Survivor or Amazing Race. I watched The Wire in a two month gulp on ITunes this summer and thought it was unbelieveably good.

I'm not at all this way about music - it's seriously embarrasing how little I know of music made after 1991 when I graduated from college. As for movies, while I'm aware of them when they come out, we rarely get to the theater, and unless George Clooney is the star I don't usually see them on video either. (But if George is in it I am so there).

I love to read too but that's a different post.

I Am The Enemy

Do you ever NOT do something you know you should do? And even think, several times, Gee, I really should do that thing I've been putting off doing. And then, just like you knew would happen, the consequences of choosing NOT to do the thing hits you. Or me, as the case may be.

I mentioned before that I manage litigation for my company. It's a particular kind of litigation 90% of the time, but every once in a while a different type of litigation comes in, that I'm not as comfortable with and don't enjoy as much, but because I'm the litigator, it comes to me.

This guy I've been working with has been out of the country for 10 days. Before he left, he sent me an e-mail outlining what he thought should be done on this particular situation, that likely will turn into a court case. It arrived on a Wednesday night I was out of town, and I didn't get back to the office until Friday, which was a half day 'cause that's how we roll on Fridays. I didn't worry about it too much because there was no immediate need to do anything, and the dude who sent it was out of the country, right?? Then Monday, I was in a meeting from 8:00-2:00, which made the rest of the day suck, because, duh, too much to do! From Tuesday to Thursday I thought, several times, I have to get on that project because dude's coming back Friday. Did I get on it? Nope. And Friday afternoon (late enough to ignore) I got an e-mail from him asking for a status update on what I had done since he sent the e-mail the previous Wednesday. The answer is, status remains the same as it ever was. That probably won't sound too good though, which is why I'm sitting here, at 9:00 pm on a Sunday night, trying to figure out what to say.

Now, to be fair to me, nothing NEEDED to be done on this situation. This is really just a management of people issue, since this guy WANTED shit to be done. But I KNEW that, and I still didn't get on it. I was really busy...but I also KNEW that I was going to get this very e-mail! Dammit. I hate being my own worst enemy.

And Hey! I have a Follower! Hi Follower!